Wiggle It

I have two grandmothers still kicking around known affectionately as "Good Grammy" and "Bad Grammy". I was talking to Bad Grammy a couple of nights ago on the phone and we were chit chatting about her upcoming great-grandson's arrival. I was moaning about my whale like appearance and generally feeling bad for myself, when my grandmother brightened the conversation with this little gem of a story that I felt needed to be shared. The following conversation is pretty much a direct quote.

"Well, I don't know about you, but when I was pregnant with your uncle (thank God not my father), I was so horny all the time I could hardly stand it," said Gram nonchalantly.

I was a little shocked but ever since she made some lewd comment about an innocent bottle of olive oil that was in my kitchen, we have had a few frank conversations such as these, which I totally enjoy. I said I didn't think that my moods were quite the same as hers during this pregnancy, especially in the last few weeks. Then I made a vague comment that since I am in the rather awkward stage where putting your own undies on can be a challenge, any other gymnastic like moves were less than graceful.

Then came the most truthful description of third trimester sex I have yet to hear or read about,

"Well, if you both just wiggle around enough, it will find it's way there."

I couldn't agree with the horny old beast more. Thanks for the words of wisdom, Gram.